I’m moving across the country tomorrow with my husband and our almost-four-year old. Tonight is my last night in the house she was a baby in, the house we endured the pandemic in. I know I’m ready to move to a new chapter, and I’m also terrified to leave a place that has kept us so safe. This read was a balm for my anxious soul. Thank you.
Parts of the writing brought tears to my eyes -it was so beautifully written, and described that feeling that precipitates a big change so well.
The part where you realised what was affecting you so much - the worry about leaving a safe space and the worry about not finding a new one - resonated so much.
I've found it's almost like a self-protection thing when you have deep, deep wounds relating to loss and change and grief - my entire body and mind seems to immediately just check out when I feel I'm about to go through another loss or big change, as if it's saying: well you can stop feeling close to this place or caring about it now, because then maybe when the end comes you'll have gotten used to the idea (in the end, it never works that way -the aftermath still hurts just as much as if I'd continued letting myself love the safe place right up until the end, and maybe even more so because I start to feel almost like I betrayed that safe space by pushing it away long before I left it).
Sorry for such a long message - your writing always, always gets me thinking. Thank you, Kerri, and I wish you all the very, very best for your next step
Thank you, thank you. Healing my trauma has never been so necessary or so difficult as when I became a mother. My fears- of hurting him, of not being perfect- intensified since the day he was born, as heavy as his beautiful weight in my arms. You understand and voice so much of what I feel so eloquently. Thank you for lighting a way. Good luck on your next steps. I'm sending you and your family all the light I can.
Kerri, thank you for sharing your beautiful words with the world. The way you write is such a gift, a balm to me and I adore the way you weave your stories of connection, belonging, motherhood, home together. Truly, thank you. I moved cities with my three young children just over a year ago and so much of the emotion and worry I carried was about them. It took very little time for me to see that the place we were in mattered far less than the fact that we were together. They found their sense of belonging in who we are as a family and we carry that love with us wherever we go.
Beautifully written, and evocative. Brings to mind all the house moves I've made. I'm sure you'll find the best place for you and your family. Looking forward to reading more.
I’m moving across the country tomorrow with my husband and our almost-four-year old. Tonight is my last night in the house she was a baby in, the house we endured the pandemic in. I know I’m ready to move to a new chapter, and I’m also terrified to leave a place that has kept us so safe. This read was a balm for my anxious soul. Thank you.
Parts of the writing brought tears to my eyes -it was so beautifully written, and described that feeling that precipitates a big change so well.
The part where you realised what was affecting you so much - the worry about leaving a safe space and the worry about not finding a new one - resonated so much.
I've found it's almost like a self-protection thing when you have deep, deep wounds relating to loss and change and grief - my entire body and mind seems to immediately just check out when I feel I'm about to go through another loss or big change, as if it's saying: well you can stop feeling close to this place or caring about it now, because then maybe when the end comes you'll have gotten used to the idea (in the end, it never works that way -the aftermath still hurts just as much as if I'd continued letting myself love the safe place right up until the end, and maybe even more so because I start to feel almost like I betrayed that safe space by pushing it away long before I left it).
Sorry for such a long message - your writing always, always gets me thinking. Thank you, Kerri, and I wish you all the very, very best for your next step
“Place and self are delicately interwoven and when I forget this I forget me.” Thank you, a truly immersive read. X
Thank you, thank you. Healing my trauma has never been so necessary or so difficult as when I became a mother. My fears- of hurting him, of not being perfect- intensified since the day he was born, as heavy as his beautiful weight in my arms. You understand and voice so much of what I feel so eloquently. Thank you for lighting a way. Good luck on your next steps. I'm sending you and your family all the light I can.
Kerri, thank you for sharing your beautiful words with the world. The way you write is such a gift, a balm to me and I adore the way you weave your stories of connection, belonging, motherhood, home together. Truly, thank you. I moved cities with my three young children just over a year ago and so much of the emotion and worry I carried was about them. It took very little time for me to see that the place we were in mattered far less than the fact that we were together. They found their sense of belonging in who we are as a family and we carry that love with us wherever we go.
Beautifully written, and evocative. Brings to mind all the house moves I've made. I'm sure you'll find the best place for you and your family. Looking forward to reading more.