Women’s Day

On seeds, separation & sisterhood

Well here we are, international women’s day once more. A day that leaves many of us a little divided, somehow. Who is it really for? Who created it, etc? And to what purpose? My feeds today have ranged from pictures of proud mamas and their daughters, to the call for naming women who’ve been violently killed by partners, to bemoaning the need for the day and much more.

I’ve had a somewhat odd day if I’m honest, in that—not for the first time on this particular day — I’ve not set eyes on a single other woman. I’m very unwell and it just won’t shift at all, meaning I’ve ended up stuck at home all day after too much exertion yesterday when I had convinced myself I was well even though I wasn’t. So the only three people I’ve seen are my son, partner and the postman.

Anyhow, sometimes these big days can be tricky in ways we don’t fully understand and perhaps weren’t quite expecting… This year, perhaps because of the not seeing of any women, perhaps because of my new book being on the horizon; I was reminded of the lockdown Women’s Days. And of the fact that it wasn’t just on International women’s day back then that I didn’t see another woman.

In my next book, Cacophony Of Bone, I explore what being a woman means to me and how it changed during those lockdown years. I spent those years almost completely away from every other woman I knew. I spent my entire pregnancy away from friends and loved ones, my closest friend was pregnant too at the tail end of my pregnancy and we were not allowed to see one another which is a pain I will never get over no matter how I try.

In this book I hoped to pay tribute to some of the women that guided me through. One of the most moving and life changing effects of this time was the way being nurtured and supported from afar by amazing, strong women helped me learn to grieve through learning to garden.

I hadn’t been quite aware of the ways that the sharing of seeds, the offering of a listening ear, the giving of advice— the ways in which something as gentle and quiet as tending a garden — would change my life forever. You can read the Books Ireland Magazine excerpt from my IN THE GARDEN essay - published by Daunt Books - that grew into CACOPHONY OF BONE here or purchase IN THE GARDEN here.

Others suffered worse , and many still are suffering as a result of those years. One beautiful thing that came from it all , for me though, was the finding of a community of women online who have become close and, I hope, lifelong friends. I could not have got through that time without the friendship of those women.

Women are still living through unimaginable trauma world wide. One thing we can do, I believe, is stand together as best we can against these injustices. Society tries so hard to keep women apart, set us against each other but we know that we are stronger , happier and safer together.

Women.

Trust them.

Listen to them.

Support them.

Stand with them.

It is woman that will save this aching, burning, beautiful world, and you know it.

Reading & rereading - Soundings by Doreen Cunningham and Milk by Alice Kinsella which is out tomorrow. Such great writing on motherhood , oh my.

Loving - Amy Liptrot’s FREERANGE column for Caught By The River, this month on nettle soup!

Excited for - feeling well enough to get my hands back in the soil and sow more seeds with my wee one.

Thanks a million to everyone who reads my words, and a particular thankyou to the paid subscribers who are helping me, as a self employed creative woman, pay for a morning of childcare for my wee one each week with his beautiful childminder who is also a creative mama. It means the world to me though to be able to have some choices, today more than any other day. Women do more unpaid work than men, are negatively impacted upon in the workplace after becoming parents and are the ones most often responsible for researching, deciding on and paying for the care of their children. I am exceptionally lucky to live with a partner who stands by my side as I try to challenge the gender gap but it is a long, hard road we walk as women and things need to drastically shift soon. In solidarity with women everywhere, until we all are free and safe, none of us are. x