Holding
On how we grow
Tenderness warning : mention of pregnancy
Hello beauties, how are your hearts today ?
I’m up north, where I will hold space all weekend for a beautiful group of humans this weekend at The Songhouse, Falcarragh. It wasn’t due to be, but has ended up being my final retreat before my world changes shape entirely this summer. I’m not even close to having an idea when I’ll return to holding space in the ways I’ve been holding it for the last few years, as I am due to birth another wee one this summer.
I well know the deep rooted grief and heartache that posts like this can lead to for so many folk, and I am holding you if — like me — the journey of (m)otherhood has been, or continues to be, hard.
There is so much I want to say about this path that lies ahead for me—for my life, my heart, my creativity, my family— but those words will come in time.
A paid subscription will be, as I step away from work as it looks now, the best way to follow along and to support my creative pathway at this time.
I can’t wait to share what I have been planning for you on my substack when I’m away!
For the moment, lots of my energy of late has been going into thinking about how we hold, and how we grow. And how delicately intertwined these two are. How we grow so differently when we are held well. How we are able to hold well, in turn, when we ourselves have been held well; allowed to grow into all we can be. I’ve been thinking about this all, mostly, from the point of view of pregnancy and birth, given that is where my body, soul and heart are just now. I’ve been thinking about the differences between this pregnancy and the ones before this. About how different it might be when I birth this wee one; enter through that wild and unknowable portal.
So much to sit with, and so little free time in which to do that. But what I do know is that I am feeling so extremely grateful for the opportunities still ahead of me for holding others at this time.
As well as this weekend, I have two more online gatherings before I focus my energies on my babóg and myself. Both are moon circles, and the first is coming soon.
Milk moon / Flower moon / Planting moon / Egg laying moon
We’ll meet on zoom 7-8 pm BST Sunday 31st May to mark the second of May’s two full moons. This is the second last full moon gathering for quite some time ahead so if you’ve been hoping to join, now is your time!
All women are welcome, and these circles are deeply moving, beautiful, and healing beyond words.
Email inchwhooperswan@gmail.com to book 💕🍃🌱💗
And then, I’ve been thinking about what happens after that all. What happens after I step away from the way my life has looked for so many years now; the holding of space that means so so much to me.
How will it all feel when I stop, allbeit just for a while, holding circles? Holding space for women, for mothers mostly, and through doing so, holding space for me too. For the wholeness of me. I have been so changed through being in circle with other women. But for now, I need to turn inwards. I need to learn to be held by others from afar; to grow where I stand rooted. And to be held tenderly as I grow.
There will, I hope, be lots of beauty, even in this changed world that lies ahead. Lots of rest, and reading and requiem.
I hope there will be light, and sun in such abundance, and I hope there will be flowers.
I hope I will feel held by the earth, by the wind , by the waters, by my community, by my ancestors.
And I hope when I return to work that you will join me again, in circle; to gather and to grow.
Brightly, X