Heart, heart

Valentine

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‘Tomorrow is Saint Valentine’s day,
All in the morning betime,
And I a maid at your window,
To be your valentine.’

Words spoken by Shakespeare’s Ophelia

Hello you, here we are on Valentine’s Day, the day I return back to my two loves, across the sea, leaving one Celtic land for another…

What a time away I’ve had in Cornwall.

If there has been a word for this time, it certainly has been heart.

I came here last week with a griefy, achey, broken heart. Two months since we lost our baby, and my oh my does it still hurt.

Coming away to be with

Lucy Beckley

here in Cornwall, in the beautiful, inspiring company of a handful of other women— new friends as well as old— was the medicine my heart was crying out for.

What happens on retreat is its own beautiful, quiet and scared story between those gathered in circle , but I will share one thing that feels important to share. I know that what was shared between us was a thing that found all the broken pieces of my heart and gently led them back together. Helped them find their way back to one another. And I am so incredibly grateful.

I did something my wee heart has been longing for so so long. I stayed on with

Lucy Beckley

, in her beautiful nest, and I had my own retreat. Held by her but alone, I gave myself the gift I’ve spent years trying to give: the gift of myself. And oh my heart, my heart, my heart.

Losing a baby as a woman who is